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Paganizer: Scandinavian warmachine

14/05/09  ||  Kampfar

Paganizer is still a Swedish band fronted by an alcoholic named Roger “Rogga” Johansson, or Roger “The goatraper” Johansson as people in Visby tend to call him. He’s been a Satanist since the age of 6 and, all according to his autobiography, the urge to fuck Satan’s favorite sheep appeared in him at the age of 13. Ha, I hark, for I had my first rape-a-pony whilst-on-crackcocaine experience at the age of 11. Yep, I’ve completely lost the plot.

Just like Scandinavia did years ago.

I know, politics are boring. And stupid. Fucking hell, every last idiot out there who get their opinions from a party program should be shot in the cunt. Now! “So let’s not go there”, said I, “let’s rather talk about “Scandinavian whoremachine”, I went on. So I did.

Let it be known, “Scandinavian warmachine” is a way better album than “Carnage junkie” ever was. God damn it, it actually sounds as if Rogga was close to sober whilst performing on this here platter of surprisingly good death. I’m surprised but not shocked for the cuntgrinder in question hardly ever participated on a true stinker; surprised, because his most recent endeavors, all since the last Demiurge, has been mediocre at worst and only somewhat enjoyable at best. Anywayz, I salute Rogga for being a tenacious bastard full of piss and vinegar.

And now over to the other participant, namely Brynjar aka Floodhorse, a self-proclaimed drum-nerd responsible for circa half the posts on GD’s eminent forum. This very dude also responsible for a couple of reviews, that on a guest basis, but, and this is a warning, if drum related rants spiced with hummingbirds sound boring to you, that same you are advised to avoid his scribblings like you would the plague. Safe to say that I think of him as a better drummer than writer. Not that he is a shit writer. Alright, enough scizo cocksucking already, now is the time for me to properly explain why I downright enjoy what mentioned Brynjar kindly, or rather just asked, me to puke some words all over.

Here goes:

“Scandinavian warmachine” kicks ass – or rather, it kicks you in the diaphragm whilst rumbling your buttocks. And, fine details are also to be heard, the powerhouse production not at all bulldozing the subtle additions into submission. Sure, we are not talking a layered album ala one made by Emperor, this is after all fucking Paganizer you two-legged piece of shit, but I anyhow appreciate being allowed to hear everything the two responsible had to “say”. Yep, even the bass is to be heard, though not quite as burly and loud as I, The General of general hate, likes it best. But hey, at least evidence of its existence are to be heard relatively often.

In fact, the only half-major complaint I have is the amount of songs. 16 namely. I fucking love the band named so, my take on “Zoloft smile” proof of that, but 16 songs is anyhow a couple too many speaking “Scandinavian warmachine”. Here are no shitters or otherwise embarrassing attempts at making death, none at all, but regardless I think a couple of the song should’ve been put to death. For example, I wouldn’t mind if “Bonesaw bonanza” had been omitted from the equation. Great title, but the song is only partly good. Unlike the growls, and general vocals, which is always good when Rogga does the mic. Ace I mean.

Put short, and out of the blue, Rogga+Brynjar= competent, hard hitting death. Here’s some more out of the blue:

My uncle, one I refer to as uncle Hulk, told me to hate on people from Møre&Romsdal till the day I die, hail Sognariket, but I disappointingly have to admit that the greedy, stinking-of-fish Møring adds another layer to what Paganizer is all about.

Other than that, fuck you all, that including the individual who did the cover-fart.

7,8 out of 10

  • Information
  • Released: 2009
  • Label: Cyclone Empire
  • Website: www.myspace.com/paganizerband
  • Band
  • Roger “Rogga” Johansson: vocals, guitar, bass, mongloidism
  • Brynar The Floodhorse: drums
  • Tracklist
  • 01. Forever scorned
  • 02. Scandinavian warmachine
  • 03. The flesh
  • 04. Colder
  • 05. Thule in flames
  • 06. Distracting the gods to enable
  • 07. An icon for the damned
  • 08. Crusader
  • 09. Bonesaw bonanza
  • 10. Cold seed burning the world
  • 11. Morbid panzer battalion
  • 12. Onward to die
  • 13. Punishment through defeat
  • 14. The skies bleed napalm
  • 15. Undead warhead
  • 16. World of smoking ruins
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